That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
