things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize