Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
