her vagine was all disorganized.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
