Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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