i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
