Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
