Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
