she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize