so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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