Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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