morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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