My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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