i barfeds in our rink
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
