We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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