i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your cock deserves a montage
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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