Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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