I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
