White coat. Heels.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
