yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize