i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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