There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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