please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
