It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
