So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
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We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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