Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
