We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Drake has all the answers
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
