Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
