What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
