wanna go halves on a baby?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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