hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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