i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
