I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
