Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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