bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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