So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I still have a little drunk in my system
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
