someone threw a dead crab at me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hate all girls vehemently.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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