i don't like sucking hair
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
