I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
