legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
