stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
