I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
