I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
