He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
