Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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