I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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