are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
ttyl tear gas
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
