There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
