Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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