News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
