I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
