based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
