You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
