We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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