I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
