Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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