Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
