Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dick very happy bro
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
