I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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