as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
