You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
