my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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