Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
