That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
